Some months ago, Magic 828’s Breakfast Show presenter, Glenn Pinder, invited me to take part in a bike ride between York and Leeds , to raise money for our charity, Cash for Kids.
Of course, being the consummate philanthrope (ahem), I agreed. To be frank, I had internally smug doubts over whether any such bike ride would go ahead. The words piss-up and brewery formed a phrase in my mind.
So it was with surprise, as much as the obvious fear and trepidation, that I found myself in icy Rufforth at 9am on a Sunday morning, with an Accureading of -7C. The “Big Units Bike Ride”, it seems, was on.
Said Big Units are two of Magic’s listeners, Big Col and Big G, who, to be fair, are big lads for their size. If they were about to do 24 miles, surely I had no excuse.
Lacking ownership, I’m loaned a bike that I’ve never ridden before. Indeed, I haven’t ridden any kind of bike for a number of years. I’m told it’s a hybrid, which means little to me, but I am concerned by those tyres – smoother than Duncan Goodhew in a massive condom. That’s not ideal, when you’re cycling on icy roads with less friction than, errr… - Bruce Willis in a massive condom.
We’re only 2 miles in, and: disaster. (Not disaster used in its proper sense, of course, but in the way Sky News might use it when a snowflake falls on Surrey ). My pace-partner, Rob Dowell, suffers a surprisingly dramatic blow-out of his front tyre. Ever the altruist, I offer to drop out of the challenge so he can use my bike. He declines, instead employing the spare Grifter in the back of the support van.
We trundle on, breaking only for a Mars Bar outside Wetherby Young Offenders Institute. Like you do.
What followed flitted between pain (in the buttocks), near-frostbite (in the fingers), cramp (in the knee), bruising (on the shoulder after a fall), and abject terror (in the mind, as trucks hurtled past). But, three hours later, we arrived in Leeds : safe and approximating sound.
Despite the swelling and chaffing of areas-you-simply-don’t-want-to-hear-about, it was an overall enjoyable experience. And it was, of course, all for charity.
It you have a spare few quid – why not throw it the way of www.justgiving.com/bigunits - and help us make sure no child goes without a present in West Yorkshire this Christmas.
I’m off for a bath.
Another one.
